Election humour

A temporary forum for discussion about the upcoming election.
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UnknownResident
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Re: Election humour

Post by UnknownResident »

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The Green Barbarian
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Re: Election humour

Post by The Green Barbarian »

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LET'S GO BRANDON!

Justin Trudeau is a blight on our once great country.
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Smurf
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Re: Election humour

Post by Smurf »

Indian Wanting Coffee:

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun
In one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter:

"Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure. Coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee......
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
Turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun,
Causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere And then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling
Another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to
The waiter

"Want coffee."

The waiter says "Whoa!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says,

"Training for position in Canadian government caucus:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
Leave *bleep* for others to clean up,
Disappear for rest of day."


Can anyone say Ignatieff?
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have of changing others.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi1yhp-_x7A&feature=related[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
NAB
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Re: Election humour

Post by NAB »

An oldie but goodie...

While walking down the street one day a 'Member of Parliament' is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. ..

Today you voted.'
"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still." - Lao-Tzu
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grammafreddy
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Re: Election humour

Post by grammafreddy »

NAB wrote:
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. ..

Today you voted.'


LOL - daaaammnnn that's a good one!!!
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Captain Awesome
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Re: Election humour

Post by Captain Awesome »

Image
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don't know how to play chess.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXwtJTT2zuk&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV-o-qJF17o&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6wUoQlzSE4&feature=relmfu[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dolWP_kGpNc&NR=1[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84oD1lRp-rU&feature=related[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPpSIv2bGgQ&feature=relmfu[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ-abs-OXvU&feature=relmfu[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bltxQTxIImo&feature=related[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjhwdvubJLw&feature=related[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.
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daria
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Re: Election humour

Post by daria »

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pk9GrNnH3Y&feature=related[/youtube]
Don't take my silence to mean I've agreed with you; I easily could've just lost interest in explaining how wrong you are.

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