I need people to join my new religion

[Thinktank]

I am looking for people to join my religion - which I just invented now.
My religion believes in only one god - money.

My religion has only one commandment - Thou shalt have no other gods except money.

I think as soon as we understand how great and awesome money is we will be able to solve
all the world's problems. The greatest sin anyone can do is to waste money. As soon as I get
enough people on this thread who are willing to sacrifice their life to serve money, we can begin
worshipping the almighty dollar. To start, we will worship the American dollar but that can change in the future.



Tell us how money has improved your life.
Tell us why you love money.
Are you willing to sell your soul for money? You have come to the right thread.



..

[steven lloyd]

You're way too late to this race.

[Bsuds]

Sorry Thinktank but to start this religion not only would you need to have money (which by you're own admission you don't) but it was all ready started by others many years ago.

So as the saying goes...you are a day late and a dollar short.

[LANDM]

You are the one who was *bleep* at your uncle because he didn't leave you money.....so, TT, you tell us why you think that way.

Not surprising that you would have this idea though.

[GordonH]

Far to little, many years to late. Back to your drawing board TT.

[jimmy4321]

I assume your looking for contributions.

[Bsuds]

I assume your looking for contributions.

That would be Clod Funding...

[Thinktank]

The first and greatest commandment is:
“'Love Money with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
And the second commandment is: 'Cheat your neighbor as often as you want.'

To save money, my new religion would not need expensive churches that cost $millions to build.
We could have worship services in people's homes. I think all people were born with the ability
to worship money. I know when I was a kid one day I successfully hoarded 100 marbles which
I won from other kids in school. And when I found out old comics could be worth $thousands I started to hoard
old comics. I was off to a good start, but somewhere along the line the devil convinced me to stop worshipping money.
The lack of money is the root of all evil. Think of all the good you could do, if you contribute money
to me - I will spread the word throughout the land - SAVE AND HOARD MONEY, and I will convert
thousands people to worship money, and prevent thousands of people from suffering.

Do you know how many people stress out from financial problems? Not when they join my religion.

[Bsuds]

. Think of all the good you could do, if you contribute money
to me - I will spread the word throughout the land - SAVE AND HOARD MONEY, and I will convert
thousands people to worship money, and prevent thousands of people from suffering.

Do you know how many people stress out from financial problems? Not when they join my religion.

Well if they join your Religion and give you money then they will still have financial problems won't they.

I will take your advice and Save and Hoard money! I hope all others do to and definitely NOT give any to you!

[Thinktank]

I will take your advice and Save and Hoard money! I hope all others do to and definitely NOT give any to you!

You sound like you could be a preacher for this religion. Do you want a job? I pay
10% of the net profit.

[Bsuds]

Sorry I don't work for free! lol

[ifwisheswerehorses]

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Gene Roddenberry beat you to it...

"The Complete Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition"

1. Once you have their money, never give it back

2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to

4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough

5. If you can't break a contract, bend it

6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity

7. Always keep you ears open

8. Keep count of your change

9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit

10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one

The other 212 can be found here http://projectsanctuary.com/the_complete_ferengi_rules_of_acquisition.htm

[Thinktank]

48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife

I have found that people who smile excessively can not be trusted.
People who grin like a monkey - avoid like the plague.

[sobrohusfat]

#51. (ThinkTanks' motto): Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame

[Thinktank]

OK - I'll build a church, but I can't call it a church and I can't call it
a Kingdom Hall because those names are taken. I will call it a Vault.

And at the front of the Vault I will put a statue of Judas, to remind
everyone we can attain our dreams - thirty pieces of silver.

Everyone meet at the new Vault on Bernard Avenue, downtown, for a special talk
by guest speaker Brother George Soros on 'profiting from chaos.'

I think there is great potential for my new religion.



Judas. There is a lot we can learn from him.