What does Manhood mean to YOU

[LANDM]

when I read that term I think about Bodice ripper novels
" his rising Manhood"
I never hear that term used now

[mexi cali]

Literally means transitioning from a child to a man.

What does it mean though once you have transitioned. When you are in the state of "manhood"?

I guess when I think about it, which was just now, I think of responsibility, sacrifice, compassion.empathy. A strong set of values regarding how a man lives his life. HIs service to others. His love for his family and his willingness to protect what is his.

Someone who will not merely watch but intervene when called upon. Called to arms. Called to protect. Called to soothe. Called to teach. Called to listen and called to speak up.

One who isn't bothered by what others might think about him, understanding that what he thinks of himself is what matters.

He can be relied upon to do what he says he will do. He is trustworthy and he is a friend to those who would call him a friend.

I think of my dad, really. He was many of the things I mention but he was also generous and humble and interesting. He had a way of making people feel comfortable and welcome. He had traits I don't see in me.

I too am a lot of the things I mentioned but I lack some of what made him a truly wonderful person as well as a man.

I miss him.

[Catsumi]

^^^^

A lovely tribute to manhood and to your father Mexi

[Bsuds]

Literally means transitioning from a child to a man.

What does it mean though once you have transitioned. When you are in the state of "manhood"?

I guess when I think about it, which was just now, I think of responsibility, sacrifice, compassion.empathy. A strong set of values regarding how a man lives his life. HIs service to others. His love for his family and his willingness to protect what is his.

Someone who will not merely watch but intervene when called upon. Called to arms. Called to protect. Called to soothe. Called to teach. Called to listen and called to speak up.

One who isn't bothered by what others might think about him, understanding that what he thinks of himself is what matters.

He can be relied upon to do what he says he will do. He is trustworthy and he is a friend to those who would call him a friend.

I think of my dad, really. He was many of the things I mention but he was also generous and humble and interesting. He had a way of making people feel comfortable and welcome. He had traits I don't see in me.

I too am a lot of the things I mentioned but I lack some of what made him a truly wonderful person as well as a man.

I miss him.

Well said!

I miss my Dad too. He was all of these things.

[Staredintoabyss]

Great stories to hear about fatherhood.

I am a modern statistic born in the 80s growing up with no father and no father figures.
The woman my dad remarried was in perpetual conflict with my mother so my father's role in my life was of poor quality and great distance. She was also an early hateful social justice type, constantly speaking baddly of men. The constant conflicts over money overshadowed any sense of support or family by a wide margin.

I consider myself fortunate that he and I have both lived long enough to finally get a chance to get to know one another now, him in his 70s and me in my late 30s.

I have been robbed of something absolutely essential but cherish my fortune to get it even if it is a bit too late.

[TylerM4]

To me, the 1st thing that comes to mind when someone mentions manhood is "Penis". As in - it's another word for penis.

I suspect that your assignment is in reference to the traditional meaning. As others have said - it really just means the adult portion of a male's life. Of course, from there it opens a whole can of worms around "when does one become a man vs a boy" What do men do that boys don't? Etc. Likely the real meat of the assignment.

Here's some thoughts from me:
- Manhood is when you're fully independent and taking care of your own life vs relying on others to support/assist you.
- It's the transition from societal "taker" to "giver".
- It's the set of societal expectations that exist for men but don't exist/apply for boys. (Eg. Men don't cry. A man never hits a women, etc.) AKA you've achieved manhood when you meet all societal expectations for men.
- It embodies traditional male stereotypes. Tough, unafraid, not prone to emotional/sensitivity/men don't cry, protective of women and children, familial provider, etc.

[Jonrox]

I started to think about this after reading mexicali's excellent post... and I'm thinking the term may have become outdated (I think this is kind of what Tyler was getting at in his post).

What mexicali said is generally what it means to be a good person, regardless of gender. I don't think it was really a definition of "manhood".

Everything that mexicali said in his post applies to women as well. All of the characteristics he mentioned are also enviable traits for women to possess and strive for.

I guess when I think about it, which was just now, I think of responsibility, sacrifice, compassion.empathy. A strong set of values regarding how a man lives his life. HIs service to others. His love for his family and his willingness to protect what is his.

Someone who will not merely watch but intervene when called upon. Called to arms. Called to protect. Called to soothe. Called to teach. Called to listen and called to speak up.

One who isn't bothered by what others might think about him, understanding that what he thinks of himself is what matters.

He can be relied upon to do what he says he will do. He is trustworthy and he is a friend to those who would call him a friend.

[PoplarSoul]

To me, the 1st thing that comes to mind when someone mentions manhood is "Penis". As in - it's another word for penis.

Same here.

[TylerM4]

What if I don't want to be tough anymore and be afraid, what if I want to be sensitive and cry? Am I less of a man by saying that? In 'old school' rules yes, I'd be less of a man- but nowdays?

Absolutely. Some may say that the ultimate expression of manhood is doing just that - being unafraid to show your true self. Societal expectations, like most things in life, are always changing and everyone has their own viewpoint.

To shine some light on my own experience with this:

My wife has taken to sharing her story "About the 1st time I saw Tyler cry" to friends and family. Sharing that story I'll admit makes me very uncomfortable. We were married and already had our 1st baby when it happened. I probably hadn't shed a tear in the 20 years prior. She thinks the story is "cute" and she's proud of my sensitive side. I'm still more comfortable in my stereotypical gender role.

Part of the reason I get uncomfortable when she shares that story is because it wasn't the traditional "You're still a man if you cry under these circumstances...eg your momma passed away". I'll just come out and say it....I cried watching a childrens movie. Our 1st child was about 6mo at the time, I suspect I was exhausted and a little overwhelmed with the whole being a parent thing. I had my son in my lap and we were watching the movie Finding Nemo together which was a brand new movie at the time. We got to the scene where Marlin (the Dad) loses his son Nemo with the realization that he'll likely never see him again. I guess it just got real for me, putting myself in Marlin's position and the thought of losing my own son. Since then, she's seen my cry a few more times. My grandfather passed unexpectedly and I had a very strong bond with him. A couple of similar events with movies,always when it comes to father-son emotional scenes. Definitely getting softer as I grow older.

[alanjh595]

To me, manhood is different from fatherhood, just like womanhood is different from motherhood.

Fathers and mothers contrast and compliment each other but, in order to become aware of that, you must first become a father. AND a father is different from being a dad. There is no real term for dadhood. Any man can be a father, but not every father is a dad.

That aside, both sexes have to produce, love, nurture, a child to be considered a mom and dad. Each have contrasting and complimentary roles, a child needs to learn from both parents.

Did I digress?

[mexi cali]

Tough, unafraid, not prone to emotional/sensitivity/men don't cry, protective of women and children, familial provider, etc.

What if I don't want to be tough anymore and be afraid, what if I want to be sensitive and cry? Am I less of a man by saying that? In 'old school' rules yes, I'd be less of a man- but nowdays?

Man, if crying makes you less a man, I am back to being a boy.

[mexi cali]

What if I don't want to be tough anymore and be afraid, what if I want to be sensitive and cry? Am I less of a man by saying that? In 'old school' rules yes, I'd be less of a man- but nowdays?

Absolutely. Some may say that the ultimate expression of manhood is doing just that - being unafraid to show your true self. Societal expectations, like most things in life, are always changing and everyone has their own viewpoint.

To shine some light on my own experience with this:

My wife has taken to sharing her story "About the 1st time I saw Tyler cry" to friends and family. Sharing that story I'll admit makes me very uncomfortable. We were married and already had our 1st baby when it happened. I probably hadn't shed a tear in the 20 years prior. She thinks the story is "cute" and she's proud of my sensitive side. I'm still more comfortable in my stereotypical gender role.

Part of the reason I get uncomfortable when she shares that story is because it wasn't the traditional "You're still a man if you cry under these circumstances...eg your momma passed away". I'll just come out and say it....I cried watching a childrens movie. Our 1st child was about 6mo at the time, I suspect I was exhausted and a little overwhelmed with the whole being a parent thing. I had my son in my lap and we were watching the movie Finding Nemo together which was a brand new movie at the time. We got to the scene where Marlin (the Dad) loses his son Nemo with the realization that he'll likely never see him again. I guess it just got real for me, putting myself in Marlin's position and the thought of losing my own son. Since then, she's seen my cry a few more times. My grandfather passed unexpectedly and I had a very strong bond with him. A couple of similar events with movies,always when it comes to father-son emotional scenes. Definitely getting softer as I grow older.

And believe me son, aint nuthin wrong with that. I am a very sensitive person who also has a mean streak when called upon.

[Beerhunter341]

I think that term is outdated.

[Staredintoabyss]

Great stories to hear about fatherhood.

I am a modern statistic born in the 80s growing up with no father and no father figures.
The woman my dad remarried was in perpetual conflict with my mother so my father's role in my life was of poor quality and great distance. She was also an early hateful social justice type, constantly speaking baddly of men. The constant conflicts over money overshadowed any sense of support or family by a wide margin.

I consider myself fortunate that he and I have both lived long enough to finally get a chance to get to know one another now, him in his 70s and me in my late 30s.

I have been robbed of something absolutely essential but cherish my fortune to get it even if it is a bit too late.

Did your dad have big support payments to make to your mother for you and alimony?

No actually. My mom didn't pursue alimony and i won't further air dirty laundry but the child support was actually lower than dictated.

If that is what you focused on though I think you missed 95% of the point. Normal enough response mind you.

[the truth]

I think that term is outdated.

so what would you want it to be called then ?