What does Manhood mean to YOU

[Staredintoabyss]

If that is what you focused on though I think you missed 95% of the point. Normal enough response mind you.

No...Actually I was going to lead into this...Some men are made to look bad no matter how good their intentions are with family and relationships by the family law industry. Some men are forced away from their role of being a father-no matter how hard they try to be a good father and eventually give up on it.

Preaching to the choir on that one but no that is not exactly the case here.

I do appreciate the importance of what you are saying but you did indeed miss the point as I did not blame my father for that at all and if you read what I said made a note to express gratitude that I have the opportunity now.

If i can be accused of labelling anyone as the villain in my story it was not my father I labelled.

It gets tiresome to share a personal story then have someone reply with someone that is not at all a reply to what I said. I do appreciate your passion if not the being talked at rather than to.

[Jonrox]

I think that term is outdated.

so what would you want it to be called then ?

Growing up and being a good person.

All of the characteristics and traits that various people have brought up in this thread are things that both men and women should be striving for and it just sounds weird to say women should work towards improving their manhood.

[the truth]

*removed*

[TylerM4]

Growing up and being a good person.

All of the characteristics and traits that various people have brought up in this thread are things that both men and women should be striving for and it just sounds weird to say women should work towards improving their manhood.

I think you are over-simplifying and flat out wrong about what's been posted so far.

Here's some thoughts from me:
- Manhood is when you're fully independent and taking care of your own life vs relying on others to support/assist you.
- It's the transition from societal "taker" to "giver".
- It's the set of societal expectations that exist for men but don't exist/apply for boys. (Eg. Men don't cry. A man never hits a women, etc.) AKA you've achieved manhood when you meet all societal expectations for men.
- It embodies traditional male stereotypes. Tough, unafraid, not prone to emotional/sensitivity/men don't cry, protective of women and children, familial provider, etc.

You're not a bad person if you're born rich and simply choose to live a life of luxury vs become a philanthropist. Same goes for if you're unable to provide for yourself.
There's no way you can equate male stereotypes and social expectations to "being a good person"

[Jonrox]

You've misunderstood me. I guess I shouldn't have said "all of the characteristics"... I should have said "all of the good characteristics".

And it's not oversimplifying... it's easy to be a good person regardless of how much money someone has. How much money they have is irrelevant.

I think some folks are really overthinking and overcomplicating this. People started posting that "manhood" is a set of good characteristics for a man to have. I'm suggesting that those characteristics shouldn't be limited to just men... they apply to all genders so calling those the defining characteristics of "manhood" isn't really the correct term to use.

[TylerM4]

You've misunderstood me. I guess I shouldn't have said "all of the characteristics"... I should have said "all of the good characteristics".

And it's not oversimplifying... it's easy to be a good person regardless of how much money someone has. How much money they have is irrelevant.

I think some folks are really overthinking and overcomplicating this. People started posting that "manhood" is a set of good characteristics for a man to have. I'm suggesting that those characteristics shouldn't be limited to just men... they apply to all genders so calling those the defining characteristics of "manhood" isn't really the correct term to use.

Regardless, I still believe the thinking is flawed.

To me, manhood involves social expectations for men that don't exist for boys. We expect boys to be polite, kind, respectful, etc. Therefore, those traits aren't really attributed to manhood, they're simply attributed to being a good person. If they're not attributed to manhood, those are big elements of "being a good person" that aren't included.

There is much overlap sure, but to say they mean the same thing (or even to say it includes all of the good aspects) doesn't really make sense.

[Ka-El]

To me, manhood involves social expectations for men that don't exist for boys.

manhood
[ˈmanˌho͝od]

NOUN
the state or period of being a man rather than a child.

"boys in the process of growing to manhood"

Seems to work. Other than that I think "manhood" is one of those terms that can be ambiguous and mean something slightly or even significantly different for different people. I like the definition above. Straightforward and simple.

[W105]

as a woman/mother who is raising a young man in today's world...do yourself a favour and stop telling them to "man up" on certain things..

tell your boy that yes, he can cry ( emotions are a part of normal life) encourage him to speak when life gets tough( some men have a very hard time understanding that communication is important..nobody can read your mind, and stewing over something for days is just needless )

if they don't like sports or hunting etc ( "defined" manly things) it's ok...those things do not make you a man...everyone has different hobbies..do what brings you joy..you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself..

treat woman/children/animals anything weaker than you with respect and protect them when needed..

learn how to take care of yourself...you don't need someone to cook and clean for you when you are quite capable of doing it yourself..

keep your appearance in good shape..especially your teeth..you'll miss them when they are gone and so will everyone else when they look at you..

and most of all when you find that special person in your life ( whether it be female or male) love and respect your partner always..and if things go sideways and you aren't getting the same love and respect back...walk away, don't ever try to convince yourself that you need to beg for those things..cause you don't..

[Ka-El]

^ I like that W105. I'll add to that learn to be accountable and responsible for your own thinking, attitude and behavior.

[W105]

oh..I forgot to add one other very important thing..have a good work ethic..your employment /career will always and forever be the biggest part of your life..so pick something that you love or do what needs to be done to achieve it..you'll be glad that you did..

old RudyK has some good suggestions ( for all of us) even though some might be a tad outdated...


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

[alanjh595]

I find this comment very interesting, as it groups three things together and classifies them as "weaker" than men.

treat woman/children/animals anything weaker than you with respect and protect them when needed..

That is saying that, "women are weaker and not equal to men".

That is a VERY interesting statement to make.......

[Glacier]

[youjustcomplain]

manhood, to me equals penis.

If you'd asked me 20 years ago, it would have meant something about being strong, confident and providing for your family.
50 years ago, it might have meant being able to protect your family and provide an income sufficient that your wife could stay home.

[Beerhunter341]

I think that term is outdated.

so what would you want it to be called then ?

I want to call it manhood but it is not up to me. People seem to want things like personhood and *bleep* like that.

[rustled]