A Lack of Kindness

[Lady tehMa]

I am finding people are becoming polarized about topics, and in general highly hostile to any other stance than their own.

I think of myself as a moderate. I think other people need to be allowed to have their own opinions regardless of whether or not I agree with them. I would love for everyone to be on the same page, but I accept that they aren't. My best friend is fond of playing devil's advocate and in discussing things with her I've often learned much. I would also venture she too has gotten something out of our conversations.

If I state something, that would put me in a centrist position or something slightly to the right or to the left; the response is people immediately labelling me as "extreme" and lumping me in with the worst of that leaning.

So, what has happened to "the benefit of the doubt", "civil discourse" and simple "kindness"? Is there any way to get this back?

[kgcayenne]

Not since social media removed the opportunity for face-to face discussion that requires social responsibility and civil deportment.

[BC Landlord]

The intolerance almost exclusively comes from the Left. The "woke" culture being at its apex lately.

[Ka-El]

The intolerance almost exclusively comes from the Left.

as clearly evidenced on this board (yes, the left is evil).

[Gilchy]

The intolerance almost exclusively comes from the Left. The "woke" culture being at its apex lately.

Wild.


It has gotten crazy. The internet, while fun and even sometimes occasionally useful, was a mistake. Being provided with anything and everything, all of the time, is overwhelming for the human brain, so we tend to find and surround ourselves with like minded people and ideas that "otherize" anything outside of our silo to the point where, as you mentioned, anything but full-throated agreement is deemed as extreme.

Don't agree that corporate taxes are too high? You must be a communist.

Believe in any form of a meritocracy? You nazi, you.

Honestly, public discourse has descended into the same realm as sports fandom, where you have to root for your team regardless of performance or action, and boo the other side because they must be beaten! There's no sharing of ideas, and we don't debate to fund truth or middle ground, we debate because is boosts endorphines to be bursting with rage and feeling superior to the other side.

[fluffy]

Not since social media removed the opportunity for face-to face discussion that requires social responsibility and civil deportment.

I totally agree with that. The availability of a platform for instant and faceless communication with little or no accountability immediately gave us a visible erosion in basic courtesy and respect online. It's a serious concern that this is bleeding over into real life and manifesting in a sort of mob mentality when people gather in large groups. It's like right and wrong don't matter any more, it's all us and them now. The lines between "my rights" and the democratic principles of majority rule and the common good have become seriously blurred.

[kgcayenne]

Lack of accountability is social epidemic pandemic.

[Ka-El]

Lack of accountability is social epidemic pandemic.

"I don't want to wear a mask or get a vaccination, but I do want to do whatever I want, wherever I want and whenever I want" without any consequence or personal responsibility and I wish the left would quit being so intolerant and be kind like me.

[Lady tehMa]

Not since social media removed the opportunity for face-to face discussion that requires social responsibility and civil deportment.

I totally agree with that. The availability of a platform for instant and faceless communication with little or no accountability immediately gave us a visible erosion in basic courtesy and respect online. It's a serious concern that this is bleeding over into real life and manifesting in a sort of

mob mentality

when people gather in large groups. It's like right and wrong don't matter anymore, it's all us and them now. The lines between "my rights" and the democratic principles of majority rule and the common good have become seriously blurred.

I believe in the social contract and doing things for the greater good - to a point. The sovereignty of the body belongs to the person and no one else. If you want to murder your child by aborting, that's your business. I think it is wrong, but it is your body and your choice. If you don't want the vaccine, that is your business; again - your body, your choice.

I believe we need to respect each other EVEN IF we have differing opinions. We need to be able to talk about why we believe what we believe. We need to be able to find a way to build a consensus together. Something like this is not something that can be enforced by a government, it has to come from the people.

The mob mentality fluffy referenced is hugely scary to me. It comes down to "we've decided this and you have no say". Mob mentality is how we got internment camps and concentration camps. Governments decided that experimenting on people of different races or religions was justified "for the common good". It is a very slippery slope and once people start legislating people's bodies, it isn't going to stop.

[fluffy]

So does anyone want or think we should or could do something about that type of uncivil and unkind behavior here?

That would be asking a lot of the moderating staff here. Posters whose chief motivation is to insult and ridicule become adept at weaseling around rules of conduct to the point where moderators can't do their job without being accused of impartiality.

It all comes back to personal behavior, and the thought by many that internet anonymity is a license to ignore any basics of courtesy and respect.

[Sparki55]

as clearly evidenced on this board (yes, the left is evil).

It's pretty clear that there is an intolerance for those who don't follow the current social rules society is moving towards.

It's no longer just ok to accept people will live their lives how they want, you must also live your life in the same manner to be accepted by those pushes new policies and social norms. Since most new policies on these topics are widely supported by liberal followers, it's not that hard of a connection to make.

If you are speaking towards far-right intolerance of abortion, hate speech, and general resistance to authority of any kind, yes I see your connection that way as well.

As for lack of kindness, both sides of the political spectrum are displaying less kindness every day. Having a "my way or the highway" attitude is devoid of political leaning and is becoming more prominent as people are able to seek out echo chambers online.

We are also much busier now than pre-pandemic. That business may not come in the form of fun stuff to do as plans of such nature were canceled. I'm speaking to the busyness the pandemic loaded onto us. The need to plan more to avoid complications, the lack of proper social support, the increased cleaning. Being busy leaves less time to be nice and reflect.

[Ka-El]

It's pretty clear that there is an intolerance for those who don't follow the current social rules society is moving towards.

Yes, admittedly there does seem to be a growing intolerance amongst the majority of Canadians over the childishly selfish behavior of a minority who seem to have no problem in putting everyone else and the economy at risk. The irony is these people screaming about our loss of freedoms are mostly responsible for any loss of freedoms. But I guess they are nice people.

It's no longer just ok to accept people will live their lives how they want, you must also live your life in the same manner to be accepted by those pushes new policies and social norms. Since most new policies on these topics are widely supported by liberal followers, it's not that hard of a connection to make.

Despite the hyperbolic tone of this response there is some truth to the idea the majority of the population would like everyone to live in a manner that demonstrates some level of respect and responsibility for the greater good. Since most new policies on these topics are widely supported by the majority of Canadians are you saying the majority of Canadians are liberal (not to be confused with Liberal)? That wouldn’t surprise me at all

[Piecemaker]

If only we could all develop the skill to disagree without being disagreeable, to learn how to critically think, to realize that any photo, meme or written article can be altered to reveal partial truths or outright mislead.

Thank you to those of you who express your views in a respectful and thoughtful manner. Whether or not we agree, I appreciate your contributions.

[Sparki55]

Despite the hyperbolic tone of this response there is some truth to the idea the majority of the population would like everyone to live in a manner that demonstrates some level of respect and responsibility for the greater good. Since most new policies on these topics are widely supported by the majority of Canadians are you saying the majority of Canadians are liberal (not to be confused with Liberal)? That wouldn’t surprise me at all

What I wrote is not an exaggerated truth. Take the example of gun laws in Canada. We all know that assault rifles are currently banned however if you are against the new gun restrictions you are then known as someone who supports assault rifles in Canada. So we must all now live in a manner where we do not question new gun laws.

Then people are not nice to each other in those arguments, especially the topic above on guns, because there is a level of misunderstanding stemming all the way up to the government.

You can repeat that the removal of guns is for the greater good of Canada but gun owners know this is not true, or highly exaggerated at best. This creates a divide and then the lack of kindness ensues. Just because a majority of Canadians now believe what they heard in the news from the current government we now have endless arguments because there are some people who really know what this solves and others who repeat the news.

I'd say the majority of Canadians (people in general) are not critical thinkers. A lack of critical thinking can lead to a lack of understanding and from there, well, people typically get louder on their stance the less they understand.

[sobrohusfat]

...and in general highly hostile to any other stance than their own.

Pressure & adversity are amazing at squeezing out what reveals the real person.

I've heard of a couple instances where people i know (thought i knew) reacted in a "highly hostile" way - to pretty mild situations.

Cringe worthy - but i think it's great to see who's really who - and what's really lurking beneath the "nice" (phony) veneer usually on display.

This is nothing - just imagine when real hard stuff hits - wooo hooo