What is the Secret to Your Happy Marriage?

[my5cents]

How about....

My wife says,,,,, and I agree.....

[Lady tehMa]

We were friends first, before anything else. I think that has made a difference.

Deciding we were both in it for the long haul.

Deciding that we'd work on it when things got difficult - and things always do get difficult. And we do work on it.

Reminding ourselves of the good things when we're frustrated. Reminding ourselves we're only human and humans are imperfect.

Dividing things equally, and then stepping in to take up the slack when the other is having a hard time. Being reciprocal.

Talking. Sharing. Communicating. Honesty.

And yes, respect.

[Hurtlander]

Live in sin for twenty years, push each other’s buttons, see what works and what doesn’t, then get married… worked for me.

[Lady tehMa]

Common interests, and more importantly common values.

[The_quiet_one]

Common interests, and more importantly common values.

I bet you are an incredible wife! You are a beautiful soul.

[Glacier]

There's no secret, it's respect. Respect for each other and respect for yourself.

Allowances. Allowing each other to be who each respectively is. No tethers. Freedom for each to live their lives and chase what matters.

No judgement. Lots of support. Talking out the big things before they occur.

Laughter. Making each other laugh makes a bigger difference than one might imagine.

United. Each knowing that no matter what, you have my back and I, yours.

Solidarity. This matters especially with children. Agree on how things are to be done in order to present a consistent front so the kids know what's what. That's what kids need. Consistency and clarity.

Honesty. Even when it hurts or it's going to be hard, be honest.

Never forget what brought you together in the first place. Remember when you were first in love and what that felt like. Life gets in the way sometimes and while it may seem hopeless and moving on may feel like it makes the most sense, work at it. It was worth it at one time and should be worth fighting for.

Honor. You made commitments to each other and they matter, always. Honor them.

I agree 110%

Such a good post, mexi. I have nothing to add.

BTW, I realized this month that I've been married half my life. The two or three of you who have met her know I married an absolute gem. Sometimes I lose my temper and sometimes I'm an a$$, but she is rare among women in that she soon forgets why she was mad.

She's my baby. I'm her honey.
I'm never gonna let her go.

[mexi cali]

Yours sounds like mine Glacier. I sometimes wonder why she didn't kick me to the curb many times. Lord knows I have given her lots of excuses to.

The day I met her, I knew who she would be. And she has been. Not sure I'd still be here without her.

[The_quiet_one]

A tip for the men…
If she gets a haircut or what have you, COMPLIMENT her.
If she makes a nice meal, COMPLIMENT HER.
When she wakes up in the morning and looks beautiful with
messy hair and pjs, TELL HER she’s beautiful
If she sends you a picture at work, TELL HER she’s pretty

A woman will not ask you to give her a compliment.
But she wants one. She needs one.
She will always remember you didn’t
If you don’t, after awhile she will think what’s the point.
And yes, this goes both ways

The little things make all the difference!

[The_quiet_one]

She will always remember you didn’t

Thats the scary part.

Once or twice is fine. But when it becomes a habit of ignoring her needs, then yes.
She will not forget, and resentment will build.

[The_quiet_one]

and resentment will build.

I can't wait till my next relationship

Lol… you’re a nice guy. It will be just fine
I’m actually a nice person

ETA …. Would you stick around with someone who didn’t give a hoot about you?
You have to put an effort in and show them they mean something to you.

[Glacier]

Yours sounds like mine Glacier. I sometimes wonder why she didn't kick me to the curb many times. Lord knows I have given her lots of excuses to.

The day I met her, I knew who she would be. And she has been. Not sure I'd still be here without her.

I met my wife when we were both 17. I soon realized that she was the nicest girl I'd ever met, but I worked for her grandpa and she lived in the US so kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. Two years later after graduation, she came back to visit her grandparents, and we've been together ever since.

[mexi cali]

Lucky.