Sex and marriage? Evangelicals conflicted

[chickenlittle]

Married at 20, (almost 15 years now). I am evangelical Christian now... wasn't then. Won't pretend either one of us was "pure" on the wedding day. Don't believe that there is a right age to marry. Believe that divorce rate is drastically affected by the socially acceptable nature of it now as compared to in the past. In Reality all marrigaes have crappy days, weeks, years. When it was not socially acceptable to end it people had three choices... stay together and be miserable, stay together and be happy or divorce and face the judgement of friends, family and church. Most of the people who choose to work at it ended up being happy. Now, why work at it when you can take the easy way out and walk away. Afterall no one is going to blame them. No one expects them to work through the rough times. If it isn't easy it probably isn't worth it. The reality is they could make it work if they both choose to put in the effort.

Don't get me wrong... some marriages will never work. However there are many that would work if peolple choose to make them work.

[JLives]

That's exactly my situation quietly. I have been in a relationship for 10 years this fall since I was 20 years old. We have two children. We will never marry. It is an outdated institution and doesn't really "mean" anything to us. We take our commitment to each other very seriously though and if we ever decided to call it quits it certainly wouldn't be as simple as just walking away. It would certainly be cheaper than going through divorce proceedings though from what I hear!

[Mr Danksworth]

^
One of the most sensible replies yet.
I don't need the permission of the state or the church to love and live my life with someone. A piece of paper doesn't mean squat.

[flamingfingers]

I divorced after 23 years of marriage in 1985. It was totally humiliating for me to go into a court room in front of all and sundry and ask this Stranger for a divorce! And then have this doddering old fart look condescendingly at me and wonder if there was not a possibility of a reconciliation!! Jeeezz! After all I had gone through with my filings and petitions he thought maybe I wasn't SERIOUS?? Yeah, I was married (legally) once. Didn't do that again.

[FunkyBunch]

My brother sent me this from one of his friends:

"I don't understand why churches and 'family groups' spend millions of dollars a year on abstinence only instruction when a World of Warcraft account only costs fifteen dollars a month and has a much better record of ensuring virginity."