Election humour

[daria]

We took a vote.

[The Green Barbarian]

[The Green Barbarian]

This one made me think of GF:



And this sums up Iggy in a nutshell:

[Bagotricks]

And this sums up Iggy in a nutshell:

Unfortunately I think it better sums up how low brow Canadians generally are, and how little they understand (or care) about how their system runs.

[The Green Barbarian]

Unfortunately I think it better sums up how low brow Canadians generally are, and how little they understand (or care) about how their system runs.

a little bit of an elitist attitude there Bago? I disagree with you - I don't think Canadians are "low brow" at all.

[Bagotricks]

Unfortunately I think it better sums up how low brow Canadians generally are, and how little they understand (or care) about how their system runs.

a little bit of an elitist attitude there Bago? I disagree with you - I don't think Canadians are "low brow" at all.

Ha, took the words right out of my mouth. We want smart people running the country - but god forbid we elect anyone who is educated or comes across that way. We want smarts in office, but the masses look for a sweater wearing double double drinking simpleton to identify with and get their vote - its funny! Only on the right is the world elitist used to describe someone who is educated and competent.

The fact that people fear a coalition speaks volumes about Canadians lack-of-understanding. Let alone everything else that is "downplayed" - the proroguing of Parliament to hide Afghanistan detainee documents lets say. Canadians just want their double double - don't bother them with pesky "facts" - duhhhh.

Whining about a 300 million dollar election, when federally 300 million is chump change also is amusing. Would people rather we just have a Dictator, or let corporations fund elections? Not much thought in that argument.

Canadians generally just line up for their coffee and *bleep* and complain - but do nothing - most don't even vote. How smart is that?

I also used to run a coffee shop, that sold great quality coffee. "Don't give me that crap I like Tim Hortons" I used to hear from the typical "Canadian". They don't even realize they just love Tim Hortons Coffee Milkshakes with pure cream in the coffee, and not the coffee itself. I'd serve my coffee up with pure cream and get the exact same response each time "WOW THIS TASTES GREAT"

The double double thing just hit close to home, a sentiment I observe that speaks to a wider misunderstanding of the country around them. But this is a humor thread - I got a laugh from the cartoon - but perhaps in a different way. Dont want to derail and I wont debate anymore on this thread.

Please post more cartoons ;)

[The Green Barbarian]

Only on the right is the world elitist used to describe someone who is educated and competent.

You lost me here. Are you saying that if you are "educated" and "competent" this gives you the right to judge everyone else as low-brow? What if I am educated and yet I think you are "incompetent" because you just spout nonsense? Am I an elitist for judging you incompetent or am I just too "low-brow" to tolerate your nonsense? Help me to understand what it is you are trying to say here, though I think I get it already - we are all dumb, you are smart, so therefore we should just listen to you and not do any of our own thinking. That jives with most other leftists I know.

Whining about a 300 million dollar election, when federally 300 million is chump change also is amusing.

This blatant disregard for taxpayer money is also something that jives with most leftists I know. $300 million is "chump change" eh? Yeah, it's just money taken from hard working yet low-brow Canadian paycheques. They are so dumb they deserve to have their money stolen and wasted on useless elections. What low-brow dummies.

Please post more cartoons ;)

Finally - something we can agree on!

[Smurf]

As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear
in emails.

BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has
been sent to over 20 million people. To show your support for Michael
Ignatieff please go to the end of the list and add your name.



1. Mrs Ignatieff
2.

[Smurf]

A LITTLE BIT OFF TOPIC BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ANYWAY!!!!


In a busy Parisian cafe, a tourist is sitting alone, enjoying a creme caramel. Another tourist approaches:


May I sit here?

No problem...

Thank you, very nice...

Are you on vacation?

Yes, I arrived yesterday...

What country are you from?

Norway. You?

From Quebec.

Quebec? I don't know Quebec...

Quebec... near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great Lakes...

No, I don't know these places.

Never mind then, I'm from Canada...

Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why did you tell me you come from Quebec?

Because, my first country is Quebec!

Oh, you were born in Quebec and immigrated to Canada....

No, no, I was born in Quebec and I stayed in Quebec...

Oh, then your father is from Canada?

No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody, they come
from Quebec....

So why you say Canada?

For Christ sake, because you say you don't know where is Quebec!

OK, but if you say you do not know Norway, I do not say that my country is Japan...

*bleep*! Canada isn't Japan. Canada, it's my country.

Oh, your country is not Quebec anymore?...

My country is Quebec. But my country, it can be Canada too, if the
person you speak to not know where is Quebec, Tabarnak!

I don't understand...

Look, it's simple: I come from the Province of Quebec, in the country
of Canada.

Ok! But I didn't ask you what province you're from, I asked you what
country. Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I answered you
Norway when you asked me what country I come from...

I know, I'm not stupid, Calisse! But me, when they ask me what country
I come from, I answer Quebec. Even if it's the name of my province.
For me, it's my country.

Oh, now I understand.. You are a separatist, you want your Quebec
province to be your country...

Are you crazy, Hostie?!

I do not understand anything anymore.

I tell you before, it's simple! You ask me what country I come from, I
answered Quebec because Quebec is my country, but I don't really want
it to be my country, it would be too much trouble. I just want to say
it. So, why don't you just let me say it?

I'm all mixed up. You have a passport from what country: Quebec or Canada?

CANADA, Hostie!

So why you not tell me Canada right away?

Because it don't feel right. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede,
the Mounted Police, SARS, it's not my home all that. Home, it's La Famille Plouffe,
Seraphin Poudrier, La P'tite Vie, Felix Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montreal,
Les Bougons... Do you understand???

Less and less...

Listen, forget all that. Ask me another question.

Ok, what town do you come from?

Mmm..., I don't know anymore...

You don't know what town you come from?

Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it merged with
another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the town that was
supposed to be my town...

Oh, that's very complicated! When you write your address, what do you write?

I don't know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but Hull changed
to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before stopping to write
Hull to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals they pass a law
that make it ok for Gatineau to be Hull again, but I don't know if we
have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when the 3 years
are passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and after we
write Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we
remerge with Gatineau, then we'll have to write Gatineau for 3 years.

I'll leave now; I...my head hurts...

It's so simple Tabarnak: My town is Hull, my country is Quebec. But
if you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada.

OK, I think I understand!

It's about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if you come around
where I live; maybe you come and see me...

OK, but where? Hull in Quebec or Gatineau in Canada?

You're a pain in the butt. Forget the whole thing

That, my friends, is the portrait of Quebec!

[The Green Barbarian]

[daria]

Indeed.

[daria]

Hahaha.

[Smurf]

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK:

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it "Michael Ignatieff".
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of "Michael Ignatieff?"
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better?

GOOD! ----- Tomorrow we'll do "Jack Layton"!

[Corneliousrooster]

Warning - strong language!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIraCchP ... re=related

Just substitute "Canada" in place of "america"

[Smurf]

Macdonald-Cartier International (Ottawa) Airport Ticket Agent

An Ottawa 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of 'WHY' our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Brunswick member of parliament ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Manitoba legislature staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Cape Town is in South Africa .''
His response -- click..

3. A senior B.C. deputy-minister called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a federal minister's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see Russia from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. A Calgary council member called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Calgary left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Vancouver at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Alberta was an hour ahead of B.C. , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A Québec MP, called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator from Saskatchewan called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a rookie MPP from Ontario who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10.A senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, Smarty!"

11 A senior federal government official called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12 A Newfoundland & Labrador minister called to make reservations, ''I want to go from St John's to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.



These people run the Canadian government !!